The opportunity to grow with the child
Raising children and the implications on the parents’ development being needed.
In my last post, I’d tried to convey the need to identify that naturally hits a child entering this world every day anew.
The same applies, of course, for us as adults; and the vital step we don’t want to miss is the step of being there with our child; going through the processes with him or her and evolving ourselves as it happens.
There will be challenges, and to master them, we need to deeply understand the role we play and the position we hold towards the child. And while we do, we are wise to apply some practices which help us keep our calm, no matter what. (More about those a bit further on)
Our personality, the way we’re rigged up subconsciously is vastly determined by how we deal with our experiences. It can start very early in our lives that instead of letting perceptions, or situations we don’t necessarily like pass through, we rig up against them and hold them back, in fact, hold them within us.
It’s like storing something you don’t want, and every time you get triggered to remember, it’ll come up again, provoking the same thoughts with the same emotions connected to them. It can be like a Déjà vu, experiencing the exact same feelings of anger, remorse, hatred or envy rushing through your body, causing us to get tens and defensive.
Raising children, we need to take ourselves and them seriously. Not only will we prevent harm from getting to our children to spoil their experience, but we are setting long term switches, so our own experience of life is turning to be more pleasurable and free.
Isn’t it amazing that wherever we apply spiritual ( live developing) practices, everything and everyone benefits from the process simultaneously!? Often the whole situation takes on a different dimension. Suddenly, peace is at hand.
And that is what we all want to contribute!
So, when you find yourself in a challenging situation, say your boy or girl is challenging you in their phase of being stubborn; while you would do your logical best to make sense of what they’re up to, causing yourself to get hyped-up, getting closer and closer to boiling over, the child shows a more or less unconscious reaction to fit into a world it has no contract with.
It doesn’t understand, and while force applied or restricting it only creates a more vigorous resistance, the situation is getting out of control.
Here, it is not only a noble task to find back to your frame, but an instant reward is waiting for you by balancing back into harmony with the child.
Instead of feeling pushed for time, you seize the moment and create a win-win situation for both of you, by breathing and mindfully attending your muscles to relax.
Too simple?
Here we go again. I’ve been stumbling over this fact so many times. When it’s simple, it works because life is meant to be simple. All animals just do what they do, no question asked. But let us humans come along, we manage to outright doubt everything out of balance.
So, let’s be where we are, let’s breathe, and watch and feel as if we are an independent observer. Once we can establish this position, we are free to come back home anytime, because we are home, doing no harm, just letting things unfold until we are asked to engage further to prevent injury or the like.
I love this process and experience it as part of a practice leading into the next bigger game. May it be, the job we have, the partnership, the marriage, or a business we are about to set up, becoming self-aware seems enormously beneficial to success.
If you’ve got any comments to make, I’d like to engage!
